WHY DO I DO WHAT I DO?

It's a personal post today - and it's on the long side - but it's important, and if you're a woman especially, you need to read this.
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You all know what I do…
​but do you know why I do it?
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I believe in a person’s right to feel good about themselves.
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We’re all fed the ‘learn to love yourself’ mantra, but if you are a survivor of sexual abuse trauma, like me, or any other trauma for that matter, especially one that happened during your developmental years ( when your neurological patterns are laid down to inform the way you experience and interact with the world ) then this is HARD.


The cultural narrative around a woman’s place in society, mapped out through a societal attitude to her body, compounds this stuff ten fold. As most of your are women I know I don’t need to give you any examples, and if you’re a male, then I’m sure you’ve been party to conversations at times about female bodies that would make us women shiver - even if you haven’t partaken yourself. I’m sure you haven’t.


Too thin, too fat, too booby, too bummy, too chubby, muffin top, mum tum, flat chested etc etc. When you stop to think about it what actually IS perfect?


For a long time I managed the conflicting feelings around my trauma with disordered eating including both bulimia and anorexia - and while I am now recovered from both of those conditions they have morphed into Body Dysmorphia, which despite being a UK size 10, is something that rules most of my waking moments ( much to my poor and patient husbands despair ) …


Ready to wear clothing DOES NOT HELP this situation for me, for the plus size women in my life, for the athletic types, for those with a postnatal diastatis recti, boobage 4 inches lower than it once was due to carrying and feeding their kids (erm guilty m’lord), for the less abled, for those who have lost limbs, use a wheelchair, or have a stoma - these are all differences that have a massive issue on the clothes we choose to wear.


In reality no two of us are the same - check out this image from this article

​All of these women are 11 stone, and yet the differences are various!

Credit: Mail Online - see link above

My body dysmorphia got so bad at one point that shopping became something I really had to psyche myself to do.


If I needed jeans, going to a store to try them on involved deep breaths, go in, remind myself I’m healthy, I’m happy, there is more to life than my weight, will they do? yes they’ll do? Do I feel good in them? God what does that even feel like? I’m never going to feel good in anything… too many rolls, too much spill over the top - do the pockets make my hips look wider? Argh I feel sick. Hand over the cash and get out of the store as fast as possible. Back to home, and back to baggy jumpers.


Listen up though - because I am about to turn this on its head…


People we have NEVER met, in offices where we have never been, are designing clothes for our bodies ( that they actually know nothing about ) and we are being forced to dance to their tune.


Did you know that sizes in the UK were first standardised in 1951 - when post war we were all smaller, less well nourished and far more active….


…and we still mostly use these data today ( in fact the whole system of sizing is fascinating if you’d like to read more you can here ) but the sizing labels have slipped and slid across the grid - leaving me ( a UK size 14 in old money ) mostly a UK 10, but sometimes an 8 and sometimes a 12.


I HAVE HAD ENOUGH


And I’m pretty sure you have too.


So, what is the solution?


MAKE. YOUR. OWN.


Don’t let someone else tell your body is crap. Don’t let someone else decide that your body isn’t ‘normal’. Who the hell are these people anyway?


Don’t let the Fall ‘21 fashion collections make you feel like a lonely pony because they’re all muted autumnal tones and you absolutely adore acid brights. What are you supposed to do?


I’ll say it again - MAKE. YOUR. OWN.


Ok so now you’re thinking Its all very well and good because I can sew, and you can’t, and it’s obviously far easier said than done.


And then of course there was probably that awful textiles teacher you had at school who made you make a horrific nylon nightie and told you you’d never have a successful garment because you’re stitching was wonky and your seams were puckered. But there we go again - someone else dictating to you what you should be doing - and who the hell is going to ever get excited about a nylon nightie?!


I believe that you are worth more than this. That you have the freedom and power to choose.
This is why Start to Stitch exists, and you’re going to be hearing so much more about it from now on because it underpins absolutely everything I do and I have realised that I rarely share this huge passionate driver that weaves through everything I do to help my students to get to this point.


To find the confidence, and the conviction, and the space and time to do this thing for themselves, to start with the skills and set themselves free from those people we’ve never met, in offices we’ve never been to, designing clothes for bodies that aren’t ours.


And it all starts with some very simple skills.


If you have NEVER sewn, if you can sew a bit but are a bit self taught and a bit unsure, if you are still traumatised by that nylon nightie witch of a teacher you had in the 4th form, NOW IS YOUR TIME TO SHINE.

You won’t get any of that from me - I promise. All you will get is support, encouragement, and a strong belief in you, that you can do it, and that you too can stop thinking about your body as one that has wobbly bits that don’t fit someone else’s template, and feel the freedom to fly in your own creativity and embrace who you really are, what your actual inner style is and create clothes for yourself that you LOVE to wear.

There is SO MUCH in the offing and planning but, you know, life, pandemics etc and I can’t wait to bring the new to you of these new programmes.

But LEARNING TO SEW - on courses like my online programme Back to Basics  is the first step to FASHION FREEDOM.

And nurturing my students to find their wings and fly into their creativity is the absolute life and soul of my business.

I believe that we all have a right to feel good about ourselves - and that includes you my friend.  

I believe in YOU.

Pssst - if you haven't yet booked onto my beginners / refreshers programme Back to Basics - you can get a cheeky £30 off with the code WANNABEFREE - all the course info is here - or you can go straight to booking here.  The next round starts this Thursday 24th June! But you can join up at any time ( you will just miss out on our live zooms - which isn't where the teaching happens, even though they're a lot of fun! )